Today is my wedding day. Not the one I planned though. My ex and I planned an intimate gathering in the backyard of our country home. Rustic chic, bohemian elegance, a Jcrew alternative wedding dress, barefoot, vintage plate settings and a local farm-to-table family-style reception dinner. Close friends and family, passionate vows, spiritual intention, high hopes, shared missions, community, grace and love.
A couple months ago, I called the whole thing off. It wasn’t easy, but it was clear, it was the only step forward. Walking into the future without the partnership we had invested time, heart, energy - ourselves into. These things happen. Everyday, in fact. The reasons may vary from tale to tale, his/her version of the truth, the personal deal breakers, the inability to compromise, the undeniable reality that you - I am better off on my own. I love you, but I love myself more.
What I’ve come to understand as I’ve watched each day inch closer and closer to this circled date on my calendar, a union will occur today. I choose to marry myself. I choose to be that which I was promising to be to my ex. The difference, and this is huge - I cannot break up with myself. The most important relationship I can and will ever have is the one with myself.
What’s the best way to celebrate this unique occasion? There may exist a “Congrats on dodging that bullet” broken engagement card or a special bouquet of “He was not the one, but there’s more than one flower in the garden” wild varietals. For me, it’s all about the intimate gathering of friends and family, the fresh air, the spiritual connection, the good food, the intent and the vows. So, I’ll spend today playing with my little girl, hanging with family, eating well, writing, relaunching this blog and wishing myself a beautiful future with each day better than the last.
Photos © Unsplash, Vogue Spain