The Real Reasons Why You Cant Get Hygge Right
While hygge (pronounced hoo-ga) loosely translates into "cozy contentment," may be a better-known Danish export than Havarti, it's much harder to find or cultivate in big cities. Or so you might think. Hygge and a busy metropolis are certainly not synonymous, but they are harmonious. If the 2020 lockdown taught us nothing else, a cozy home is vital to one's well-being and even the antidote for the crazy lurking beyond our front door.
So how does one create and embrace hygge in the city? And why does it seem that despite all your efforts, you still struggle to get it right? The answer has to do more than amassing a good collection of candles and furry throws.
Here are a few critical friend truths.
You’re still going too fast. Slow it all down.
Hygge is not a trend for Danes. It is a lifestyle they carry with them from birth to old age.
Danish people are considered the happiest in the world, and while they are not perfect people, they can teach the French and Italians a thing or two about the good life. They are not in a rush; amazingly, if you look at their school systems, smart cities, and innovations, they get stuff done.
In Denmark, the pace of life is slower and less intense here, and people, in general, have a better work-life balance. Work begins at 8 and ends at 4 sharp, with no long lunches – Danes are focused.
Compared to farmhouse chic, hygge makes sense in big cities, partly because, like NYC, London, Tokyo, DC, and Paris, Denmark is not cheap. Ranked high on the Peace Index (#5) and the 2019 World Happiness Report, it is also one of the most expensive places to live. No wonder folks invest so heavily in their home interiors and habits. Cheaper to stay home and read a book.
There is a 25% sales tax on almost everything you buy, including an 85% tax on new cars. Who can afford to go out or wants to bike in two feet of snow? And dining out - ouch! Even without a pandemic, the costs are crippling. Most folks leave restaurant outings for special occasions, and even singles will forgo the "let's go out for dinner" ritual and meet for a coffee, choose to picnic in the park, or host a little pot-luck soiree at home with a few other singletons.
Get your face out of your phone. Connect with your thoughts, your space, and the folks who matter.
While hygge can be embraced year-round and in any climate, its history is rooted in a strategy to deal with the ugly winter weather and long hours of darkness that Denmark and other Nordic countries are known for. This way of living is not about isolation but about joyful connection.
Imagine getting into a tiff with your partner and wanting to walk out for "some space. "Your dramatic exit would take a long dress-up session at the door, layering boot socks, mittens, and scarves, and likely last 10 minutes in the deep cold outside before realizing the shared space was warmer inside. It might be easier to kiss and make up. At the very least, talk it out over some mulled wine.
Space or lack thereof, is also a part of the hygge lifestyle. Apartments in Copenhagen, Århus, and Odense are expensive and small. Families squish together in what HGTV would call tiny living.
Hygge is as much about intention as it is about keeping warm and cozy. Hygge Life suggests, "Make extra time in the morning to enjoy. Drink coffee from your favorite mug and breathe before the day begins." Are we so disconnected from ourselves that we must think about breathing before the day begins? Apparently, yes.
When hygge is in practice, one can't help but drop the pretense and artifice.
Hygge takes some planning. At first. The approach to setting up a cozy home, pajama breakfast, or peaceful getaway in the middle of the chaos of the world can (and should be) joyous. Otherwise, it's just another trend - a thing we do as opposed to a life we live.
Hygge is not another cultural custom to be appropriated. Hygge takes commitment, authenticity, and connection.
Make your space a sanctuary and treat it as such.
This is where we could talk about candles, blankets, and loungewear, but hygge is not about what you buy or wear. So while we have some product suggestions for your Coppenhagenesque domicile, the work should not stop with a Paypal purchase. (It's an excellent place to start, but only a decorative solution). It's about a state of mind and the art of conscious living.
To help you achieve this, you might listen to calming music, watch happy movies, or read books while curled up on your comfy couch with a furry throw across your lap. Bring plants into your home, and use natural fibers and materials whenever possible, especially for bedding and bath accessories. Write in your journal, play cheesy board games with your family, and practice playing guitar. Give yourself or your pet an at-home spa, make a tent in the middle of your living room, and put the devices down. Enjoy good seasonal whole food and drink - organic wines, warm fruit tarts, herbal teas, and rustic bread. Cook dinner with your mates (friends) and mate. Eat dessert. Screw Keto for one night. The diet, yo!
Making a home sanctuary does not require zen rituals, minimalism, etc. If your record collection brings you joy, keep it, even display it but use/engage with it. "Trendiness begets repetition en masse, and fetishized participation dulls the simple pleasure of sharing quiet candlelight, baked goods, and staple reruns with those you love."
There are many resources to guide you -Signe Johansen's book How to Hygge, The Book of Hygge by Louis Thomsen Brits, and possibly a Netflix series I have yet to uncover. But some things are meant to be developed more organically.